Fall Angels: you just never know who you might meet

And just like that, summer collapsed into fall, once wrote someone, I’m sure. That’s just too pretty for me to have come up with on my own.

The man in the quiet afternoon bar didn’t get the memo. Here we were post-Labor Day, and there he was wearing white shorts. But to each their own in this neutral zone between actual summer and actual fall.

Technically, autumn begins on Sept. 22, as if autumn cares about such things.

The man had me switch the channels on the TV several times, not because he was indecisive but rather because it appeared as if he had nowhere to be and all day to get there. Some people are lucky that way. After a few changes, I just handed him the remote. It wasn’t because I had something else to do; I just didn’t want to do that.

He didn’t mind, and he happily kept changing the channels until another man came into the bar. They say three’s a crowd, and they just might be right. With two people, things seem rather more intimate, and whether the circumstances are is another story entirely. But with three people, things tend to triangulate. And boy do the therapists have a lot to say about that. Look it up; I’ll wait — just like I waited then.

If there are two people in a room — bartenders not withstanding — sooner or later they’re going to chat. And when the first man put down the remote, he made my first impression — and that last one — seem solidly accurate.

First, they chatted about the weather. And then about the drinks. In this so-called era of mixology, I find it rather comical how little people actually talk about drinks. Next time you’re in a cocktail bar, take a look around; you’ll be surprised at how few people have specialty mixed drinks — or talk about them.

Then came sports, and I assumed the next topic was going to be women. Beating them to that conversational punch, two women arrived dressed to impress: all heels, hair and hosiery.

“What are you guys up to?” asked one of those two women, as they sat on the two stools immediately adjacent to the two men.

An entire bar of seating, and they chose to sit directly next to the two men — not an idle decision. It was deliberate. One might even say calculated.

“Waiting for you,” said the newer man, exhibiting some charm.

“Well, here we are. Now what?” one woman asked.

Spring, they often say, is for lovers, but the weird fact is that most babies in the United States are born in August, with the fall months coming right on its heels. Since human gestation is 40 weeks, just over nine months, that means that something more is going on in the late fall. Another fun fact to consider is that the least number of babies are born in February, which doesn’t quite comport with spring being for lovers. Funny how sometimes what we hear, believe or even feel is so easily disprovable by a few simple stats.

The two men might not have been familiar before sitting down. But many a male friendship has been cemented over a conversation with two amiable women on a warm afternoon in a bar.

Just as summer had crashed into fall, the late afternoon descended into early evening. The two women flirted with the two men, and not surprisingly, the two men flirted back.

Shots were ordered, and shots were consumed. First it was tequila, then it was on to drinks with more suggestive names. It’s a game as old as bars. If inhibitions can be broken down by alcohol, then they probably weren’t as inhibiting as it might have initially seemed.

Meanwhile, the bar stayed quiet; it was just the four of them — and me. But I didn’t count, not to them anyhow. And that’s fine with me. I don’t have to be the center of attention; in fact, I’d rather not be. Sometimes it’s just fun to be a fly on the wall.

The laughter came easily now. There were furtive touches: a forearm here, a brushed knee there. Nothing I haven’t seen a thousand times over. It was all just good fun, the way bars are supposed to be. It didn’t go much further than that, and just as promising as the evening had started, it ended unresolved. The two women and the two men exchanged friendly hugs.

“Two autumn angels,” one of the men said after they left.

Leaving me with these thoughts:

• I wont ever see those two women again. And while I might have never seen those men before, I was sure going to see them again — probably every Wednesday at 4 p.m. for the next few months or so.

• The most interesting things often happen when you’re least expecting them.

• One person’s night out can have different rules, different expectations and different results than someone else’s.

• “People learn more from observation than they do from conversation,” once opined Will Rogers.

• When did angels start wearing high heels, skirts and hosiery? Asking for a friend — or two.