Celebrating the ones who lend a helping hand

It was my first day as a bartender. In my mind, I had arrived. I was the king of my domain. There’s a joke: “What’s the difference between God and a bartender? God doesn’t think he’s a bartender.”

But life had other plans. The woman seemed middle-aged to me at the time. But when you’re 22 years old, anyone over 30 seems middle-aged. Whatever her age, she was my very first bar customer ever. And nobody forgets their first. I don’t recall what she ordered, but I certainly recall what followed.

“Don’t you know what you are doing?” she asked loudly, which is not something that you want to hear when you don’t really know what you’re doing.

“This is ridiculous,” she said about some perceived slight.

I remember that I even looked around to see where I had left my jacket. Five minutes in and I was sure I was going to get fired. She went on for what seemed like an eternity. If you think Shakespeare writes long soliloquies, he had nothing on this woman.

Bars are funny places. Sometimes it seems like a spotlight is being shone on you. It happens most frequently from the customer side. If the bartender has to ask you a follow-up question about your drink, some people will freak out, as if put on the spot. “How dare you?” they will say or think or act. That’s why James Bond’s martini order is so relevant even 70 years later. Bond clearly knows exactly what he wants and can communicate it quite clearly. “Shaken, not stirred” leaves absolutely no room for debate or questions.

“Amateur hour,” she exclaimed loudly.

I was sure the manager had heard that. But oddly, he didn’t come my way, neither to aid me nor to fire me. In fact, it appeared as if he went the exact opposite way on purpose.

There I was, left out on an island, getting scolded harshly. That white-hot spotlight was on me, and I didn’t like it one bit.

The cocktail waitress looked on with bemused detachment. The fact that they had promoted me and not her only added to her enjoyment. And the manager? He was nowhere to be found. Some people in this world just love to watch other people fail.

But not everybody does. It was then that my co-bartender came along and rescued me.

“That’s it,” he said to her. “I warned you last time.”

Then he asked her to leave.

I didn’t know we could do that.

Johnny was that bartender’s name, and I learned an awful lot from him. I not only learned what to do, but I also learned what not to do. And in the greater scheme of things, learning what not to do has proved far more valuable.

Eventually Johnny left that bar and went on to another, and eventually so did I. But we crossed paths again and again and again. It turns out that the restaurant business is a much smaller community than one realizes.

But it’s pretty competitive. Who’s the best? Who’s the fastest? Who makes the best drinks? All subjective. But in the restaurant world, subjectivity often passes for truth. The best restaurants are not always the most successful, and the most successful aren’t always the best. But even that’s subjective.

In between all of that, there are people like Johnny. I don’t think there has ever been a magazine or newspaper article written about him, but anyone who has worked with him has appreciated him. I know I did. We were a great team at three different hot spots, all of which, ironically, were written about extensively.

What I’ve also learned is that the people who get the most press aren’t always the ones who deserve it. Many Michelin-starred restaurants close shortly after winning that award, which seems really odd to me. But in our business, the loudest often gets the most attention, and that’s unfortunate.

Johnny quietly retired from the restaurant business last week. He spent 40 years at many of the best restaurants and bars the North Bay has ever seen. There was no fanfare, no media send-off, no farewell tour. But for those of us who worked side by side with him, we will never forget him.

And every time that I step in to help a struggling newcomer, I will know that I’m doing him proud. If there’s one thing the restaurant business teaches you, it’s that everyone needs a helping hand once in a while, no matter if you’re in front of the bar or behind it.