Some people crave the spotlight

The couple came sweeping into the room like they were Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, or even Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds — only they weren’t. But just try telling them that. Festivals bring out their own unique participants, perhaps that’s just part of their allure for some and their aversion for others.

In an industry where regulars make the world go round, irregulars can throw that world off of its axis.

“Two champagnes!” “Burton” said.

“Uh, oh, sorry,” said Burton with truly little conviction.

Luckily, the man next to him just shrugged and moved over slightly.

“We’re here for the festival,” said “Taylor” out loud to no one in particular.

There are three festivals that happen annually at almost exactly the same time around here. For those of us charged with 20-20 service vision, we can’t afford to be myopic — literally — because people who want to be recognized really want to be recognized; that’s kind of the point of the entire endeavor. Woe be to them who don’t recognize this. And the same is true for those who don’t want to be recognized as well.

“I don’t have champagne by the glass,” I said, intruding on their reality. “But I do have a great California sparkling wine.”

Such a distinction might seem silly to some, but take it from a guy who has not made that distinction before, it can also be extraordinarily serious — all encompassing, manager involved, Yelp review serious. Seriously.

However, this couple took things in stride. They toasted each other with locked arms in an obvious and exaggerated fashion. They then looked around the room in an equally obvious fashion. And then did it again. On that second glance, Taylor bumped the same man who had received that scarf to the head earlier.

“Oh, sorry,” she said.

The man shrugged again and went back to his own date and their shared margaritas.

Taylor doffed her fur coat, which smelled slightly of petrol, and then sat on her barstool. It’s odd for people to sit at a bar facing away from the bar, but the two of them did. Once I worked in a live music club, and it was a lot like that — great for the musicians, not so great for the bartenders. We were forever tapping people on their shoulders.

The couple scanned the people sitting at the tables diligently. They also took great interest in every single person who walked into the room.

“Have you seen any movie stars?” one of them eventually asked me.

“No,” I said, also looking around. “No movie stars.”

“We have been hoping to see some,” Taylor said.

“Good luck” was all I could manage.

They ordered oysters, just like people do in the movies. On the screen, champagne and oysters always seem to go together. And it’s one of the few things that the movies get right. So often what you see in movies about bars is wrong. Fun fact: Bottles don’t break over people’s heads. What they do is cause concussions, and then people sue or get arrested or both. Throwing a drink in someone’s face is not only assault but also battery. And just once in my nearly four-decade-long bartending career, I would like a local gumshoe to come in and flash me a picture while asking, “Have you seen this person?” Trust me, I probably have. And all of their friends too. But I digress, and my third act was waiting.

“Oops,” said Taylor, bumping into that seated man again. “Sorry.”

He shrugged again. But I got the impression that he wasn’t going to shrug a fourth time.

“I can’t believe we haven’t seen a famous person all week long,” Burton said.

“You do get them here, don’t you?” Taylor said.

“Of course we do,” I said.

“In this county, you can’t swing a cat by the tail without hitting one,” I added.

The two out-of-towners spent about an hour wining, dining and scanning the room, much to their overall displeasure.

When the bill was presented, there was even more displeasure.

“Eighteen dollars for a glass of wine,” Burton said. “What is this? The Ritz?”

The man who they had bumped into several times offered an observation.

“Doesn’t sound like you’ve been to the Ritz lately. It’s a lot more than that there,” he said.

They eyed the man suspiciously and then swept out of the room much the same way that they had swept in.

Leaving me with these thoughts:

• “The play’s the thing,” said Hamlet in Shakespeare’s play of the same name. And it’s still true today.

• Taylor and Burton both starred in the 1967 movie adaptation of Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew.” Just saying.

• My Taylor and Burton, not surprisingly, left me a terrible tip.

• The man next to them was much more generous. I suspect it might have something to do with the fact that he’s one of the most famous rock stars in the world and that I hadn’t mentioned that.

• Recognition might come from experience, but it’s really discretion that pays the bills.