Don’t let the jerks ruin your day
I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot with a bag full of goodies like I was Santa Claus. It wasn’t really Santa’s bag — it was a brown paper grocery bag — but bags are sometimes more about the content than the construction. My bag was overfull of donations for a local charity. In a consumer-driven society, we sometimes end up with more than we need, and certainly more than we can use. That’s where donating comes into play. Not all charities are equal, and some investigation will lead you to the right ones. On this windy afternoon, it certainly felt good to be doing something good.
I pulled into one of eight empty parking spots near the front of the building. I didn’t pick the end spot because I knew I had to navigate a large shopping bag full of cans of food out of my passenger car door. And it was heavy — very heavy.
Not wanting to wander around looking for the donation bin, I scouted it out. It was about 30 feet from where I had parked. I returned to my car.
In that 60-second interim, someone had parked next to my car — right next to my car. In fact, it was as close to my car as you could legally park. Technically, they weren’t over the line, but they were as close to being over as you could be. Their tires were actually on it. I went around to my passenger door. There was less than a foot and a half between the two cars. Mind you, there were six other parking spaces, including one that was actually closer to the building.
I don’t know why someone would park like that. It was actually difficult for them to get in and out of their car, yet they did it. I know it was difficult because it was almost impossible for me to get my bag of donations out of my car. I twisted left and right. To avoid denting their car, I had to keep a hand on my door, using my own flesh as a buffer.
In the restaurant business, we see this behavior all the time. There’s a certain type of person who is oblivious to the world at large. The only thing that occupies their thoughts are their own impulses and their own needs.
Do you have any idea how many people ask me if I can “do something” about the seating? Like what? Ask someone else to leave? Funny, these people always say, “No, not that,” but the truth is, if that was an option, many of them would take it.
In my attempt to navigate that tiny space between the cars, my bag ripped, dumping the cans of food all over the place. So now I was picking up dozens of cans in between the two cars. It was then that the driver of the other car returned.
She inserted herself into the already tiny space, literally stepping over me as I gathered the cans. She never said a word and then backed out of the space, almost running into another car. Horns were honked, fingers exchanged — all in the parking lot of a charity.
Someone asked me the other day what the key to being a good customer was. There’s no key. A customer doesn’t have to do anything. Customers are expected to ask for things, and to want things. That’s how it works. Most service people don’t want a complete stranger to ask them how they’re doing, or how they feel. We are at work for goodness’ sake. How do you feel at work?
What we in the service business appreciate most is that you just don’t be a jerk. That’s it.
I thought of this while I picked up the cans in front of the charity, including one flattened by that woman’s car, after which I pulled into the adjacent sandwich shop with my faith in my fellow man at an all-time low. If someone was going to flip someone off in a charity parking lot, what hope is there really?
It was then that I saw eight people being herded in the front door of the sandwich shop by a person who was clearly their boss: a holiday work lunch. I recognize the fact that eight people ordering individually was probably going to take quite some time, so I almost left.
The boss looked at me, noticed I was by myself and said: “Why don’t you go first? We might take a while.”
Leaving me with these thoughts:
• Don’t let the one bad thing that happens become the story of your day. Hold on to the good, because you can’t control other people, you can only control your reaction to them.
• In the interest of personal responsibility and hindsight, I probably should have moved my car.
• However, also on the topic of personal responsibility and growth, I did refrain from denting hers.
• Often it only takes one tiny act of kindness to make someone else’s day.