The elves and reindeer decorations hung like a mute jury overhead. Not judging, but definitely deliberating on the actions going on beneath. “Holidays” is a contraction of “holy days” and somewhere along the line some people seem to have lost sight of that.
Including the two men and two women sitting at the bar below. Or rather, sitting on top of each other at the bar below. Not really so unusual an occurrence at bars, especially at late night, and especially during the holidays, but a little more peculiar at 4 in the afternoon. But you celebrate the holy days the way you want to, and they will celebrate them the way they want to.
Someone once said all love is beautiful, but that someone should have seen this, and they should see it up close, because I bet some modification of that thought would be in order. But then real love isn’t about making out in a bar in the middle of the afternoon, is it?
The brunette traced the outline of the man’s chin with her hand, after withdrawing her tongue from his mouth.
“What’s your name again?” she asked.
Now I don’t know about you, but I usually am pretty well sure of the names of the people I insert my tongue into, but hey, that’s me.
“Doug,” he said.
Which was odd, because he had introduced himself to me as Don.
Then again, I wasn’t sitting on his lap.
The family with small children behind them were arguing with the hostess about children sitting at the bar.
“It’s not illegal,” said the young mother.
And she was right. If children are legally allowed in the liquor licensee’s room, they are allowed to sit anywhere in that room. As a matter of policy, the licensee can decide for themselves whether children can actually sit at the bar. A point that some people often overlook.
The young mother persisted.
“I don’t understand why…”
The rest of that argument dissipated when she saw the two couples sitting on top of each other. Bars are bars, and if you want to bring your children into one, well they are going to probably see or hear some adult behavior that they, or you, might not be ready for.
Just because something is legal, doesn’t make it right or good. But I think recognizing that fact is the whole point of religion and holy days in the first place, isn’t it?
The two couples were undeterred. The two men reminded me of that tired old bar cliché; the lounge lizard.
“Shaken not stirred. Just look at the bottle of vermouth. Don’t bruise the gin.” There wasn’t an original thought amongst them. Yet, the two ladies laughed and laughed at each one, as if they were the most original of thoughts.
Let’s do this again, said one of the men to me, circling his hands.
“Do what again?” I asked, seeing how I was not the bartender who had served them anything.
“You know,” said one of the lizards.
I don’t know. That is why I am asking. Almost every single day I work, someone I do not know, and have not until that moment interacted with, will point to an empty glass I had not filled, and expect me to somehow, someway, know automatically what goes in it. As if all bartenders and all servers are connected by telepathy.
“What were we having?” he asked the other three.
And then there is the person who doesn’t know themselves what he or she was having, but expects you to somehow know, given those very same parameters.
This went on for some time, until the two men finally had to excuse themselves. As soon as the they walked away, one of the two female tonsil jockeys leaned over to the other and rolled her eyes.
“There’s two hours of my life, I’d like to get back,” she said.
“I know, that was brutal,” replied her friend.
“Those two were disgusting,” they both agreed, nodding their heads vigorously.
Leaving me with these thoughts:
-I guess giving isn’t always better than receiving.
-From the 20th of November until January 24th there are at least 14 different religious holidays, ergo the term Happy Holidays.
-If bartenders and servers were indeed telepathic, my guess is that they would probably not be bartending and serving.
-Holidays might be religious in nature, but that doesn’t mean the people celebrating them are.
-If you find someone else disgusting, and then you put your tongue into their mouth on purpose, what does that make you? Just asking.
-Welcome to the Roaring Twenties 2.0. Have a Happy New Year!